The force within you – 93

There are days when you feel restricted by some inexplicable force, you feel that something is pressing you hard,squeezing you , suffocating you.Unable to breathe you struggle.

That force is very restrictive, never goes away,be it morning or afternoon or evening… Evenings are the worst!

You rack your brain to get rid of that force , but brain just shrugs and tells “I am clueless boss”…and then and then feeling depressed you accidentally look down and tadaa… you find the origin of that very annoying restricting squeezing suffocating force. Your protruding belly!!!

Now that you found the cause, you ask your brain how to fix this. A normal brain would have thought of unnatural solutions like jogging, crunches, <beep> diet <beep>

But meh…

The quick fix is to steal husband’s tshirt and wear it and the immediate relief !! ahaa. Thank God he is still bigger than me.

But beware, if you have a daughter around, the first thing she will do as soon as your husband enters home (and before you close the main door) is

“APPPAAAAA. Amma is wearing YOUR SHIRT”



Good Friends, Good Books – 94

I will be honest here. Yesterday I was not happy. I was sad. I went to bed at 8. And I couldn’t sleep.

Then I spoke to one friend, only one I wanted to talk to at that moment. I have a bunch of very good friends who will lift my spirit in no time. But yesterday , for some reason, it was her. She helped.

At 9 I remembered this

“Tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes in it… Yet.”
L.M. Montgomery, Anne of Green Gables

And I slept off. I am better today. Much better.

I am in love with this Anne. And she brings so much positivity in me right now. I am just going to hug that book so tight and sleep everyday.



Day 1 – 2017

Vanakkam Vandanam!

2016 is over. I still think that between 1996 and 2016 there were only 10 years! (Young at heart ! young at heart!). 2017 it is!

2016 saw lot of emotions. Lot of tough moments.

First half was relatively very bad. I believe in the power of God as well as Nature. 2016 showed me multiple times how powerful these two forces are when you have faith in it!

One time I sat in a temple not knowing what to ask. I was so exhausted mentally that I did not know how to ask help. A 2 year old child who was playing nearby suddenly came to me and hugged me tight. Both me and the child’s father were surprised for one whole minute. Then I too hugged her tight.

I was sitting when this kid came to me, I was at her eye level. She has never seen me .Still she hugged ..for two minutes. The relief I felt after that cannot be expressed. I felt hopeful.

Food wise – a good year . I ate a lot..a loootttt. Separate post on that.

Work was OK.

Overall 2016 was a year where I felt as if I was on a roller coaster ride. At many times the whole world seemed to be a Maya but there were some Bingo moments too.

Wish you all a happy and healthy 2017 !


That was me humming a recent favourite song although eating a delicious cake would also have produced same kind of sound from me Smiley

MY Amma thinks that I am a good singer,that if I practise more I will become better. I am not a good singer and all but you know mothers!Smiley
I sing ok – ok. Considering the chances of you asking me to sing to test my voice quality are very slim, I will just say that I am a good singer SmileySmiley

When I was pregnant or even before that I used to prepare mentally , how I will sing to my baby everyday, how the baby returns a soft beautiful smile on hearing my sweet,honey dripping voice,how everyone in my house just stop what they were doing and look at me with a peaceful smile as soon as I start singing (thooliyilae aada vanda…raasathi unna kanaatha nenju…), in short how the world turns into a beautiful place as soon as my song spreads in the air…hummmmmmmmmmmmm

But but there was just one problem.I was really really bad in lyrics. Even in my mother tongue I couldnot remember the lyrics.After two lines it will all be my own lyrics (horrible lyrics) but just for my own safety I fill it with mmmmms and hmmmmmss.Anyway I kept dreaming of singing beautiful songs to my baby and the fact that I sing almost like shreya ghoshal in my dreams did not help me much to take a peek into reality. I tried hard to memorize “manikkam katti” lyrics and kept on listening to Unnikrishnan in loop, also some kannan and bharathiyar songs were memorized.

Volt arrived and the initial days went in a blur. SInce those days were blurred I don’t really know what happened but volt developed her own playlist and all my kannan and bharathi songs never feautured in that list.I surrendered and started singing only the songs which volt liked (B..I..NGO..B..I..NGO..) and it continues till date..But the lyrics problem is still there (May had a crocodile…crocodile…crocodile)

That does not stop me from dreaming.I am still a “shreya shoshal” in my dream and “if” someday volt develops interest in singing we will sing songs together, record it and send it to you all 😀 Smiley Smiley

p.s. If you get that recording and wonder which voice is mine attention to the lyrics 😉

Credits : Smileys from


Maya nominated me for this Award, I think she is too kind 🙂 Thanks dear!!

I have been wanting to write about the changes that I/others see in me these days but I have been procrastinating. That is when she tagged me and asked to write about “Mama SS”. Thanks for asking Maya .


The rules for the nominees are:

  • Thank and link to the amazing person who nominated you.
  • List the rules and display the award.
  • Share seven facts about yourself.
  • Nominate 15 other amazing blogs and comment on their posts to let them know they have been nominated.
  • Proudly display the award logo on your blog and follow the blogger who nominated you.


7 “new” things about me :-

1. Amma says I have more patience now. I don’t know how I am with others but with amma I never make an effort to hide my anger.I shout almost immediately. I think this is something only my mother has seen. I feel ashamed as I am typing this but that is the truth. But these days I think before acting stupid. Though try sincerely many times I show my anger first and almost  immediately repent and try to undo it by konjifying her.

Not just anger,these days I think more about how she would feel. I can say that I am becoming over protective of her. If something happens I try hard to make sure that she isn’t hurt.I did all these before too but these days it happens too often and it is too obvious.

2. Some days I just suddenly realize that I am a mother now 😀 One afternoon I even sent a message on whatsapp to my friends saying “Naan amma ayiten” (I have become a mother). I think it was sometime last week.

3. Sometimes I feel I have become more matured. Like for example If I want to do something for Volt I would prefer to do it in one way but the elders do it in another way which is not bad but something I would not have wanted.Instead of getting tensed I try to reason and accept their way, their way of showing their love for volt.

4. The Universal law holds true in our house too– volt cries/wakes up/poops when I am hungry/sleepy/wanting to do nothing. So I eat/sleep/watch TV when she is asleep.These days if  B wants me to do something he tries to frighten me saying ” Idha pannalana en adiyaala (volt) ezhupi vituduven” (Do it else I will wake up volt). I immediately imagine volt in a lungi baniyan like a rowdy and laugh at my imagination 😀

5. The news of children getting killed in Gaza/Telangana accident, any news that speaks about violence against children affects me more these days.It affected me before too but these days I find it very difficult to sleep.

6. When I was pregnant I kept dreaming of putting Volt to sleep by singing nice songs.  I am very bad at remembering lyrics.Very very bad. So all I do is hum. In reality, Volt remains wide awake when I sing and as soon as I stop she sleeps off . But I refuse to learn the lesson and want to continue my humming

7. My hair is falling and belly is growing at an alarming rate !!!

Thanks again Maya.

For all the Ponniyin Selvan fans out there, Kalki magazine is going to print ponniyin selvan story again with illustrations starting from 3rd august ,2014. So go and subscribe for it. I think it is going to run for 4 years.




Thank you BM for the award 🙂


Rules Of The Sunshine Award
• Display the award on your blog.
• Show your gratitude and link back to the person who nominates you with the award.
• Nominate upto 10 of your favourite deserving “bloggers who positively and creatively inspire others in the blogosphere”.
• Link the nominees in your post and let them know they have been awarded.
• Write 10 interesting things about yourself.

I guess all the bloggers I know are already nominated for this award. So I will just write 10 interesting things about myself.

1. I love notebooks especially colorful ones, pencils , sharpeners, crayons . I always dream about writing all important things in a nice colored notebook but I am not a “write” type of person. Most of the notebooks will be either empty or will have only few pages filled. In school too, I never write and study stuff. Even when preparing for Maths test, I hardly sit down and solve problems. I revise all the formula and the steps to solve a problem in mind and go to exam. It worked well in school. Now I am old!

2. I love dark chocolates . The strongest I have tried so far had I think 77% cocoa  😀

3.  My home is plain as in no wall hangings,no furniture but I would like to decorate it . Simple and beautiful . I should try.

4. I want to be regular here. Forget all other resolutions, I have only one now – to write more, to comment more and to reply to all the comments.

5. I cannot share each and every detail of my life with my friends. It is not like I don’t want to. For some reason I don’t do. I don’t talk that often either. I have friends who are just like me. Call anytime – once in a year or once in a month , no problem – but talk as if we spoke just yesterday .

6. Once I held B’s hand tight and refused to come out of a mall unless he bought me a brownie. He even tried to pull me out but I was stubborn and adament. And I won!

7. I don’t like poori.

8. I like people who can dance.

9. When I was small, at a relative’s place they gave me rasam rice to eat. I asked that Paati to remove each and every mustard seed from my plate claiming that they are insects ! Till today whenever we meet , be it a function or a wedding, she always always recalls the whole incident. Every Single time. I don’t complain because she actually picked and removed every single seed from my plate that day 🙂

10. I want to do something more meaningful, something I like in my life. But I don’t know what it is and I am LAZY .

My To-Do list

I want to try more in cooking department.Forget other cuisines, there are so many dishes which my mom amd mil are very very good at. I want to try those first. Mor kootu,pulikachal,aviyal things like that. Most importantly pachamaavu podi upma and mor koozh.These two are my favourite. The sour taste and the smell of mor milagai…mmmm… heavenly 🙂 . I tried once.It was such a flop that now I am strictly prohibited from trying 😦 I want to make different varieties of sambhar and rasam.I feel like I know only 3-4 types. My mom makes so many different types of rasam.I want to learn.I want to try.I want them to smell and taste exactly like my mom’s or mil’s, I mean when they prepare you feel hungry automatically.I want to be good in that.

I want to learn two-wheeler. I started learning few months back, but stopped. I want to start again. I want to drive with confidence.

I want to try a new hair style. Knowing my hair, it can never be styled . But I want to take risk and try once Smiley this ?? Smiley or this ??

I want to take out my violin and learn sincerely. I am sure I am not going to join any class again. I want to just learn by myself.There must be something on internet to help you learn right?

I want to decorate my home. Right now it has essentials.Nilkamal chair to sit, a cot to sleep, kitchen to cook, TV for time pass. But I want to add little more. Few photographs , few wall hangings , a comfortable sofa. Just little bit more.

I want to fill this sentence very badly – I am good at _________. No!! Eating does not qualify!!!!

The other intelligent modes of communication

This is not about “TALKING” – the basic mode.

I am going to talk about the other intelligent modes like for example in Padaiyappa movie  there is a scene where Neelambari would want to talk to Rajni alone but her maids would be standing with her,she will just look at her servants and they all would understand the meaning of her ‘look’ and vacate the place promptly .That type.

My amma says that I never understand these meaningful looks. She says that my cousins who are younger to me do a better job, when my chithi just looks at them they interpret the message quickly and execute the action (like say there is a piece of paper which needs to be removed and there are many guests, chithi would show the paper just by looks and my cousin will take care of it) whereas me, if my amma tries to convey something with just looks,I will just stare at her cluelessly as if she is some alien.


She will try ‘the look’ for few more seconds desperately hoping that I would understand. But that never happens.

She thinks it is important because if she wants to tell me something secretly when there are many people around we could use this mode safely. Unfortunately everyone else would understand her except me.

Second one is whispering. Since ‘the look’ obviously does not work here, she tries to tell me in a very low voice. My reaction would be ” aann.. enna(what) ma? ” in a low voice for first time .. then the volume will slowly increase “aaaaaan enna ma? aaaaaaan enna maaaaaaaaaa?”. She mostly gets up and  goes away disappointed and does the meant work all by herself.

Sarcasm – this is not a mode of communication, but this is also is not very well received here. Most of the time I ask the people if they are saying it for real or  sarcastically thereby making them a bakra!

This “look” thing is very interesting actually. I wanted to give it a try. No, Not to understand the look which others give me, but to give a meaningful “look” at B to check if he understands what I am trying to say. Don’t ask me the result. I looked like someone who needed an eye exam and an emergency brain surgery 😦

Image from Google

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