I am thankful – 6

Everyone is tired these days .The long commute to work, the traffic, the dust, the work, the food makes everyone tired by 5 PM.Whether you are a 12 year old or 32 year old, you feel tired. Older people seem to be brisk and happy compared to us. The reason I said all this is these days very few people get up in the bus or other public places if they see any old or needy person to give their seat.

Atleast that is how I feel at the end of the day. In my route I don’t see old people often but sometimes I do see pregnant women in bus and I give my seat. When I see people with small kids many times I had continued my journey without offering my seat.Especially when I am having back pain.

When I was pregnant we boarded a volvo bus. In volvo bus I have never seen people offering their seat to others. But there was one 16-17 year old boy who immediately got up and gave me his seat. Not sure how many would do that when a ticket costs 80 rupees.We exchanged smiles and then he got lost in the crowd.

I was 8 months carrying at that time and was waiting in front of a mandapam while B was trying to talk to its manager and the gates were closed. It was early in the morning ,the security person who was watching all this, brought his chair and asked me to sit on it while things were sorted out.It was very kind of him considering his age and how tired he must be.

Two days back I was waiting in front of a medical shop with volt when B was inside buying some medicines. A watchman came from nowhere and asked me sit on his chair while B finishes his job.

These random act of kindness definitely lifts your mood up.This post is to thank such people who respond immediately and help perfect strangers.


I am thankful for .. 5

There may be 1000 relatives.. 100 friends but when it comes to asking for help only a few people come into your mind. One such person is my chithi – Amma’s younger sister.

Focussing only on the positives…..

Few days back amma fell ill. This time it was a bit serious , we had to rush into emergency room. It involved too much pain,a surgery, 10 days stay in hospital, lot of tension, a bit of crying and finally she reached home on Diwali. I called her as our “Diwali Release”. She is getting better now.

When we were in emergency, as usual I dialled the first person I knew would surely help – my chithi. She arrived the next day , stayed all 10 days , she didnot leave even when her husband fell ill.

My mother’s surgery was scheduled a day before diwali. I could not stay in hospital with a baby. I did not want to make chithi stay and miss her family during festival time. But I got a call from chithappa and my cousins saying that it is ok and that they will celebrate diwali when my mother gets discharged. I was so guilty and so relieved at the same time.God bless her and her family.

My cousin ‘s’ came and stayed with us for few days. He was the one who stayed with amma in hospital during daytime , talked to all the doctors running here and there, basically he was my pillar of support. He is 3 years younger to me. We grew up together, I did not realize that he has grown up so much until last week. I am so proud of him. So so proud of him.

Thanks to my uncle who left his wife who was very sick alone at home to take of my mom. My sincere prayers for him and his family.

My mother just before going for surgery called me and asked me to book tickets for chithi. She said it is not fair to ask her to sit with us on diwali. She said it was just few hours and that she would manage alone in hospital and then anyway I am going to come in the morning. When did she grow so strong? She tells me “I will be unconscious for long time after surgery and she(chithi) needs to leave tonight to reach on time for diwali, so please book the ticket now” And as soon as she regained consciousness, she didnot ask for me or “Na enga iruken” (Where am I). She asked “Are the tickets booked?” Proud of her .

Next, my another cousin who is 1000 miles away called me and gave me the much needed confidence when I was so stressed out. Thanks to her.

Thanks to my dear friends Maya, Tharani and BM for being supportive when I could not control my tears.

Thanks to Volt who ‘adjusted’ to everything I put through her. Random sleep timings , new places, new people. It was during this period, for the first time, I left her alone with my inlaws and went to hospital for 4 long hours. I was brimming with multiple emotions at that time,will write a whole new post about that. But she managed well.

Thanks to B and thanks to my in laws who were there and took care of home and food and me.

Thanks to everyone who prayed for my mother.

I am thankful….4

Date was decided , tickets were booked for our return to Bangalore after 6 months stay in chennai. We wanted the house to be clean as we were coming with a small baby, so I called our maid and asked her help. I have to say she did a very good job. The house looked clean when we came back.

She used to call me often when I was in chennai asking about volt and about wmy return. When we finally decided the date I called and told her . But she had plans to go to her hometown at around the same time. She was leaving exactly on the same day we were coming and she said she would be gone for 15 days. I was little worried.

Usually when she takes long leave she asks her sister to help us.This time when I asked she told me that her sister was also going with her.Though my mom and MIL would be there to help I was a bit worried about how we are going to manage everything with Volt being new to Bangalore and all.

But our maid being sweet asked one of her relatives to help us when she was gone. That new lady is very silent , comes on time everyday and finishes everything. She is of great help. My maid has not come back yet .I thank her from the bottom of my heart for making such an arrangement.It makes my day easier.

Thank you H . And thanks to the new lady too 🙂

I am thankful…. 3

I really like some of the qualities of my FIL. He is very fair (not talking about complexion here).I mean I have seen people who behaves in two different ways with their family and their wife’s family. But my FIL’s thoughts and actions are same no matter whose relatives they are. There is absolutely no “mapillai murukku” . I can never find out if it is his side relative or my MIL’s from his actions which I think is a very great quality.

I want to thank him for so many things but I will list recent 3 events here.

My close cousin brothers stay in chennai.They wanted to come and visit us. Usually my phone will be on silent mode when volt is sleeping and that day B’s phone was also silent. My brothers tried calling us both to inform that they were coming but we missed the calls. Finally when we checked the calls and called them back it was late and so they could not come. When my FIL came to know about this  he felt really bad. He kept talking about that for next few days. He was genuinely feeling bad and I did not expect it at all.I mean even I didnot feel so sad . He has a big heart.

Then last sunday they came home with my aunt. I wanted to spend some time with them so I fed volt and was ready. But she was little fussy that evening and I had to feed. My MIL had to prepare dinner.My FIL spoke with them for some time and went in to read magazines thus leaving us alone to talk. Then I had to go in to feed volt, I felt little bad to leave them alone and thought of switching on the TV so that they don’t get bored.But my FIL came out and sat with them and gave them company till I finished my work.It was really sweet of him to do that. I felt very good . I am sure my brothers also felt comfortable.

My mother had to board a day train to go to our hometown. My chithi and mama families told her that they will meet her at station.It was a big family trip involving my amma and her siblings.My mom was leaving from my (IL’s) house. So she asked my chithi to pack food for her too.But my Fil told me to pack some food for amma from here even after I told him that chithi is bringing food. His idea was to pack and take some food from here so that every one can share and have a variety of food , making the journey even more fun. And my MIL packed tasty lemon rice in a big dabba early in the morning on a working day. Amma said everyone in the train enjoyed it.

All these are very small small things when you read it but it makes a big difference to someone.All three times I really really felt very happy,blessed.You don’t have to spend thousands to make someone happy. A little consideration and extra bit of love is enough.Most often, only these little things bring out great joy.

Big thanks to my FIL 🙂

Breastfeeding experience so far and a thank you -2

I wanted to write about this few days back but wordpress and I had a fight. Trying again…
This is all about breastfeeding..feel free to skip if you are not interested.
My water broke and even though I had pain for more than 16 hours there was not much progress after a point. So I had a c section. I was  in pain killers for one one and half week. Nurses helped me to feed the baby. Though I had read about latching and breastfeeding positions (thanks to my office friend who asked me to read about these when I was pregnant),I was tired and I needed help. I did not care about anything and started feeding. Thanks to the pain killers I did not realize my mistake.
When the pain killers were stopped,started my pain. Not the c section pain,the pain due to cracked nipples. Before I could figure out what was happening I started bleeding through the cracks.
I went to my gynaecologist and she gave me some ointment. She treated the symptom but not the cause. I asked my paediatrician about this and he was the only one who pointed to me the actual problem – latching.
With such a small baby crying her lungs out and people around you getting tensed every time she cries,also the sleepless nights,you will not have the time and patience to correctly latch your baby. All you would want to do is just put her mouth there. Obviously it was getting only worse.
I developed a lump in both breasts and it was red,hot and painful – all signs of infection.
I have cried so much during those days. Every feed was scary for me. I don’t know how to explain , every time I would bring her close to me and move her away immediately fearing the pain. It takes at least four to five attempts to offer my breast during every feed. My mom used to stand near me to wipe my tears. Sometimes it just flows , unable to stop , falls on volt. But Volt , such a good baby , never complained about that icky salty water on her. She just let me vent out, silently, carrying on her job.
The pain became unbearable and I was referred to breast surgeon, she removed the pus using a syringe an  gave me antibiotics. My antibiotics intake caused rashes and diarrhoea for volt,poor baby.
These were the medical issues. There were more.
Here everyone wants to know everything I think. 90% of people who came to see volt asked me if I am breastfeeding her,if I have enough milk. And I know only50% of them actually cared. Others just wanted to know you know.
And every time she cried uncontrollably, the first question would be “are you getting enough milk” . I had attended an antenatal class during pregnancy and met a paediatrician with B. He told us to always always believe in ourselves and not worry about supply. When people keep asking you if there is enough milk, when your baby is howling and with the pain, you naturally will feel low. But I remembered and followed  his advice. I was confident. There was a time I had serious doubts too. B helped me to regain my confidence.
When you are struggling,trying to get a grip,these questions though they may be out of genuine concern sometimes, will have a negative impact mentally if not physically. Thanks to that doctor and B , I managed this one.
After like 8 weeks things started settling, cracks are less painful now . Even now there are questions about flow/ supply but I am handling it. When the weight scale says that the supply is slow I will do the needful.

This is what I learnt
1. It will take time to learn breastfeeding both for your baby and you. Remember you are new to this.
2. Don’t put a timeline or have a time limit within which you have to settle. For eg don’t think that things will be ok in 2 weeks exactly or 6 weeks. It is different for each and every mother and each and every baby.if you have a time limit, at the end of it you will be even more stressed. Take it slow. Every day is a new day, every time there is a little progress. It is getting better.
3. Have faith in yourself.
4. Just like breast feeding , top feeding is also natural.

Thanks to the doctor , thanks to B and Amma and my mil who helped a lot in that difficult phase.

I am thankful for… – 1

One of my resolution for 2014 is  “Being Thankful”. I had written this on Jan 1st..

 To be thankful , small or big , find a reason to be thankful everyday .
I am going to write it down in my blog – what I am thankful for.

When the 100 days of happiness challenge came up I really wanted to do it.But I knew that once baby volt is here I will be taking a break, so I did not take it up. Now I would like to do this “Thankfullness” challenge. I am not going to write everyday, but I will write as and when I feel grateful. I am hoping to write often.

Today I am Thankful  for the hot dosas my MIL made. Volt was up by 5:30 AM and she was active and playing till 10 AM.Around 10:30 she started crying so loud that nothing could pacify her. She was overtired and hungry too. I tried feeding her but since she was tired she refused.
After 20-25 minutes of cajoling she agreed to drink and slowly fell asleep on my lap. She is a very light sleeper,one small movement can wake her up. Because of all the struggle she went through to fall asleep I didnot want to move her. I was very hungry. My mil arranged two pillows for my back support and said she will bring the tiffin to bed.
She made dosa and chutney and brought it. She could have prepared 3-4dosas in a go and brought all 4. Instead she made one by one and brought it hot . Everytime she refilled my plate with chutney and curd .
For a tired hungry person those hot crispy dosa was a feast.
I thank her for that extra effort 🙂


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