Posted in Happy Little things, Volt speaking

Tamizh Pulavi Volt*

Note: When you read the words in bold, give one jerk and stress the last letter/syllable as much as you can!

Paa  -> Paattu ..meaning play songs/rhymes

Paapi -> Kaapi .. ypou are drinking coffee

Paal -> Milk which I will ask but won’t even touch it

Paai -> Mat

Achaaaa.. Achaaa <screaming> -> I did su-su. Somebody help! or I will start patting/splashing

Nanni -> thanni..meaning water

Inneee -> Feed me amma..NOW

phooo -> Poova poonum sollalam.. pushpam nu sollalam.. neenga solra mariyum sollalam.. Meaning Flower

shfoo -> Shoe..meaning I want to go out NOW

aan aan aanaahn aaahn -> small talk

aaahn <pause> aaahn <pause> aaahn <pause> aahn -> I am praying. Be ready, next second I will snatch the krishna photo and run away.

paatti, thatha -> grandma..grandpa

Ammaaa -> First time calling you

mummeee -> I did something wrong..trying to distract you now

Ammmaaaaaaaa -> Second time calling

mummeeyov -> what is so important to you amma.. Will you come here or not!

Bujappa -> My appa

Munimmaaa -> When I need my mother’s attention immediately

lollee -> Lorry

There is more. Mazhalai** mazhai*** will continue ….

* Tamil poet volt

** Baby talk

*** rain

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Posted in guilt, Parenting, The heart speaks

Whatever works! Whatever!

If you bring me a list of DON”Ts in parenting , I think I would tick most of the items as “Totally doing it”.

I don’t believe in perfect parenting,text book parenting. Not too long ago I was discussing this with Maya. I believe in “whatever works as long as its good for you and family – parenting style”. But today I feel that I am standing on the other side of the tunnel, thinking. The more I think the more I feel bad about my parenting “style”. I let her watch TV/cartoons/favourite rhymes. I feed her by showing rhymes. We read not-so-often.All of these a complete no no any parenting book/website would say.

Why am i blabbering so much today? Because Volt is refusing to eat. Its been more than a month since she stopped eating fruits/vegetables. Today its NIL not almost nil..its NIL. Since last one week even normal food is rejected, neglected ,spat down, thrown off.

I know that

1. This is a phase

2. I should not force feed

3. I am away most part of the day

4. My mother is doing a great job feeding her

5. This will change

But none of this is convincing me. Yesterday when I went home and heard that she didnot have proper food the whole day I tried force feeding her. I shouted. She cried. When I started eating I could not. I was feeling guilty. Guilty because I made her cry feeding forcefully, guilty because here I was sitting with a plate stacked with hot dosai whereas she has not eaten anything properly, guilty because I am scared may be I am doing everything wrong.”Whatever works” sounded great when everything was going as planned. I cannot say it now because I am under pressure and I don’t see it working. If I do it bad at 15 months , how will I do it right at 15 years.

ppoohh.. wait.. inside my brain I am actually shouting as I am typing..need to relax.. 2 secs..

Later I sat with her, asked her to bring her books one by one, read with her, played with her and went to sleep. God, children forget and forgive us easily. Only I am not able to forgive myself.