I wanted to write about this few days back but wordpress and I had a fight. Trying again…
This is all about breastfeeding..feel free to skip if you are not interested.
My water broke and even though I had pain for more than 16 hours there was not much progress after a point. So I had a c section. I was in pain killers for one one and half week. Nurses helped me to feed the baby. Though I had read about latching and breastfeeding positions (thanks to my office friend who asked me to read about these when I was pregnant),I was tired and I needed help. I did not care about anything and started feeding. Thanks to the pain killers I did not realize my mistake.
When the pain killers were stopped,started my pain. Not the c section pain,the pain due to cracked nipples. Before I could figure out what was happening I started bleeding through the cracks.
I went to my gynaecologist and she gave me some ointment. She treated the symptom but not the cause. I asked my paediatrician about this and he was the only one who pointed to me the actual problem – latching.
With such a small baby crying her lungs out and people around you getting tensed every time she cries,also the sleepless nights,you will not have the time and patience to correctly latch your baby. All you would want to do is just put her mouth there. Obviously it was getting only worse.
I developed a lump in both breasts and it was red,hot and painful – all signs of infection.
I have cried so much during those days. Every feed was scary for me. I don’t know how to explain , every time I would bring her close to me and move her away immediately fearing the pain. It takes at least four to five attempts to offer my breast during every feed. My mom used to stand near me to wipe my tears. Sometimes it just flows , unable to stop , falls on volt. But Volt , such a good baby , never complained about that icky salty water on her. She just let me vent out, silently, carrying on her job.
The pain became unbearable and I was referred to breast surgeon, she removed the pus using a syringe an gave me antibiotics. My antibiotics intake caused rashes and diarrhoea for volt,poor baby.
These were the medical issues. There were more.
Here everyone wants to know everything I think. 90% of people who came to see volt asked me if I am breastfeeding her,if I have enough milk. And I know only50% of them actually cared. Others just wanted to know you know.
And every time she cried uncontrollably, the first question would be “are you getting enough milk” . I had attended an antenatal class during pregnancy and met a paediatrician with B. He told us to always always believe in ourselves and not worry about supply. When people keep asking you if there is enough milk, when your baby is howling and with the pain, you naturally will feel low. But I remembered and followed his advice. I was confident. There was a time I had serious doubts too. B helped me to regain my confidence.
When you are struggling,trying to get a grip,these questions though they may be out of genuine concern sometimes, will have a negative impact mentally if not physically. Thanks to that doctor and B , I managed this one.
After like 8 weeks things started settling, cracks are less painful now . Even now there are questions about flow/ supply but I am handling it. When the weight scale says that the supply is slow I will do the needful.
This is what I learnt
1. It will take time to learn breastfeeding both for your baby and you. Remember you are new to this.
2. Don’t put a timeline or have a time limit within which you have to settle. For eg don’t think that things will be ok in 2 weeks exactly or 6 weeks. It is different for each and every mother and each and every baby.if you have a time limit, at the end of it you will be even more stressed. Take it slow. Every day is a new day, every time there is a little progress. It is getting better.
3. Have faith in yourself.
4. Just like breast feeding , top feeding is also natural.
Thanks to the doctor , thanks to B and Amma and my mil who helped a lot in that difficult phase.