Baby , guilt and self-confidence

Mood swings – Something I should have had during pregnancy but I feel I am having them now.

Both Amma and MIL are with me. B comes here during weekends which means there are 4 elders and one baby.Nobody complaints about their disturbed sleep or lack of any schedule.The moment baby volt cries everyone come running to check her, to soothe her, to pacify her , to carry her for hours. Then what is the problem you ask? I am.

Some days nights are ok, pass quietly.But there are nights when I struggle inside.Frankly if you ask me all I do is feed baby volt. For everything else, too many people are at home and they are more than happy to help. For eg. at nights when she cries I wake up and feed her.If she cannot go back to sleep, amma or MIL pacify her even if it takes hours.I feel good at that time for all the help, but in the morning I start feeling guilty.I should have put her to sleep by myself instead of looking for help.I mean seeking help is not bad, esp. in the first few weeks but after that initial recovery time I should start doing things right? Sometimes it gets worse, I doubt if I can be good parent.

I have severely cracked nipples. Ointments, coconut oil, butter, name anything I have tried all, but it is still the same. Some days the pain is manageable. Some days it hurts a lot, a lot that I cry, that I keep looking at the clock and wait for that feeding session to get over. As soon as it gets over I start feeling guilty. Guilty for thinking only about the pain all the time, guilty for looking at the clock all the time instead of focussing on Volt. I wrote one long rant post about this last week but it got wiped out accidentally. I am feeling much better now. I don’t check the clock these days. It is a big improvement and I am proud of myself to have reached here.

Slowly I am trying to come out of all these guilt and trying to build my confidence. Actually very slowly. Β Send me hugs but be very gentle please.


15 thoughts on “Baby , guilt and self-confidence

Add yours

  1. SS

    Not very tight hugs first of all

    Second of all, yes this is very very very common among new mothers..the guilt, the feeling of God-when-is-she-going-to-stop-feeding..and all that…very very common

    Here are few tips

    1. Dont ever ever feel guilty of the mom or MIL or dad are ready to put the kid to sleep..she is equally theirs, as much as she is yours and they are doing it because they love you and the kid

    2. Try the himalaya nipple worked for me..if you are still struggling, then try using a breast pump to get the milk out..its less painful than the kid feeding directly…and if that still doesnt work, consult your doctor for a good nipple cream..and finally if nothing works, just give volt the formula..bro and I have never been breastfed and there is absolutely nothing wrong with us!!!

    3. Always always make it a point to sleep or at least rest when volt sleeps..because then you will find it easier to get up when she is up

    4. Babies usually have a pattern to sleeping by 6 months..I used to just switch off the light and lie down with the brat next to me..even if she was awake, I would get it every night diligently AT the same time…say 9.30 PM..she will sleep..

    Big hugs darling..take care..this is just a phase…once 4 months are done, infants are a breeze okay?

  2. SS big hugs to you. I am totally inexperienced in this area, but all I can say is you are doing great as a mom – dont ever let that guilt affect you. Take all the help you can and take enough rest. Remember – you are as important as Volt. Hugs again SS.

  3. Hi SS…
    All I can say is…just refer to RM’s comment whenever u feel low…!!
    Its a tough phase…but it will be over very soon…
    enjoy the priceless moments Volt is giving you all…babies grow real fast..!

    PS: For me…mupirocin ointment worked…referred by my doc. If its unbearable, consult your doc first..

  4. Hugs SS…It must be pretty stressful!! Please do not feel guilty..It is a phase..Good times will come..Do consult your doc if ur pain is unbearable..

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