Thank you BM for the award 🙂

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Rules Of The Sunshine Award
• Display the award on your blog.
• Show your gratitude and link back to the person who nominates you with the award.
• Nominate upto 10 of your favourite deserving “bloggers who positively and creatively inspire others in the blogosphere”.
• Link the nominees in your post and let them know they have been awarded.
• Write 10 interesting things about yourself.

I guess all the bloggers I know are already nominated for this award. So I will just write 10 interesting things about myself.

1. I love notebooks especially colorful ones, pencils , sharpeners, crayons . I always dream about writing all important things in a nice colored notebook but I am not a “write” type of person. Most of the notebooks will be either empty or will have only few pages filled. In school too, I never write and study stuff. Even when preparing for Maths test, I hardly sit down and solve problems. I revise all the formula and the steps to solve a problem in mind and go to exam. It worked well in school. Now I am old!

2. I love dark chocolates . The strongest I have tried so far had I think 77% cocoa  😀

3.  My home is plain as in no wall hangings,no furniture but I would like to decorate it . Simple and beautiful . I should try.

4. I want to be regular here. Forget all other resolutions, I have only one now – to write more, to comment more and to reply to all the comments.

5. I cannot share each and every detail of my life with my friends. It is not like I don’t want to. For some reason I don’t do. I don’t talk that often either. I have friends who are just like me. Call anytime – once in a year or once in a month , no problem – but talk as if we spoke just yesterday .

6. Once I held B’s hand tight and refused to come out of a mall unless he bought me a brownie. He even tried to pull me out but I was stubborn and adament. And I won!

7. I don’t like poori.

8. I like people who can dance.

9. When I was small, at a relative’s place they gave me rasam rice to eat. I asked that Paati to remove each and every mustard seed from my plate claiming that they are insects ! Till today whenever we meet , be it a function or a wedding, she always always recalls the whole incident. Every Single time. I don’t complain because she actually picked and removed every single seed from my plate that day 🙂

10. I want to do something more meaningful, something I like in my life. But I don’t know what it is and I am LAZY .

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Da..Da..Da…

Thanks to Maya , the crows in my area are really very angry , as I have been shouting ” da da da..” for quite sometime now giving a tough competition to their ” kaa  kaa ” sound.

I did a google search and found this song . I have never heard this song before, just checked once  if it starts with a da. Thankfully it does.

 

Next in line is darling GB  👿  Being nice and all (actually expecting a batch of this from GB) , I am not giving her “da” . So GB…take the “ma” and continue ma!!!

Baby , guilt and self-confidence

Mood swings – Something I should have had during pregnancy but I feel I am having them now.

Both Amma and MIL are with me. B comes here during weekends which means there are 4 elders and one baby.Nobody complaints about their disturbed sleep or lack of any schedule.The moment baby volt cries everyone come running to check her, to soothe her, to pacify her , to carry her for hours. Then what is the problem you ask? I am.

Some days nights are ok, pass quietly.But there are nights when I struggle inside.Frankly if you ask me all I do is feed baby volt. For everything else, too many people are at home and they are more than happy to help. For eg. at nights when she cries I wake up and feed her.If she cannot go back to sleep, amma or MIL pacify her even if it takes hours.I feel good at that time for all the help, but in the morning I start feeling guilty.I should have put her to sleep by myself instead of looking for help.I mean seeking help is not bad, esp. in the first few weeks but after that initial recovery time I should start doing things right? Sometimes it gets worse, I doubt if I can be good parent.

I have severely cracked nipples. Ointments, coconut oil, butter, name anything I have tried all, but it is still the same. Some days the pain is manageable. Some days it hurts a lot, a lot that I cry, that I keep looking at the clock and wait for that feeding session to get over. As soon as it gets over I start feeling guilty. Guilty for thinking only about the pain all the time, guilty for looking at the clock all the time instead of focussing on Volt. I wrote one long rant post about this last week but it got wiped out accidentally. I am feeling much better now. I don’t check the clock these days. It is a big improvement and I am proud of myself to have reached here.

Slowly I am trying to come out of all these guilt and trying to build my confidence. Actually very slowly.  Send me hugs but be very gentle please.

Since amma is upset…

…I am writing on behalf of her.

Amma wanted to write a post for a long time, finally today she typed one lengthy post, corrected all her typos (which was there in every other word including spaces !!) and finally by mistake pressed back button in her phone and now the post is lost. She is fuming. She said she herself will write it again later as she knows more details.

I am doing good.I can now pull my own hair and cry out of pain. Sadly I need someone else to pull my fingers out of my hair.I cry a lot and demand people to carry me. I am smart enough that when people bend down and bring their hands to lift me up I stop crying immediately.

Appa has improved too. He can now lift me without any help. He being tall I enjoy the new view of our home.I know appa’s voice very well,I pause for a second when he calls me.He calls me with funny names, no one can come up with such names!!

I like to pee/poo on amma. One day she ran out of dress to change 😀 , thanks to me.

Thanks to everyone who commented on my last post. I will respond to each and every comment little later.Tata Take care.

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