It all started one not so fine evening. People just started saying that I have put on weight. My weight is increasing drastically and all that. For sometime I ignored but it became a routine. My amma also joined the gang and started teasing me. My aunt also joined and everyone said that I have put on thoppai (tummy).At one stage I started imagining things like people standing around me clapping hands and shouting “thoppai thoppai ha ha ha” like how Rajni says ‘ thoppi thoppi’ in chandramukhi. Then I made a decision. I have to reduce my thoppai.
I searched google baba , searched and searched and came up with two options. 1. Diet 2. Exercise
Now the word ‘diet’ is like how our Captain says “Enaku Engleesh, tamizh,telugu,kannada,hindi,french ,Amharic and Kinyarwanda edhulayume pudikadha ore vaarthai – Dietu, aaan” (The only word I hate the most in all the said languages is Diet-u ,aaan).But I wanted to give a try. Now when you clearly layout a plan to achieve something, there will be one hundred hurdles ,I don’t know who creates all these hurdles. Some examples,
1. Your friends calling you for a treat
2. Amma on strike, she wanting to eat out.
3. People advising you “You should not waste food” in a restaurant.
4. Friends saying “you are thin only na,finish off the last two pieces of triple cheese pizza with extra paneer toppings.
5. Restaurant menu displaying hot brownie pics in 12″ X 18”
I gave up, failed in all the above tests. But we are determined no. I came up with a wonderful plan. Eat one less idli a day 😀
With a heavy heart I said no to that last nice soft fluffy idli 😦 and reached office. Tried to work. Not able to concentrate, gmail,gtalk,blog..No No No. My stomach started yelling at me big time. Till 11 I tried then gave up. I went to the canteen straight and had two nice hot onion oothappams.
1 missing idli + a highly pissed off stomach tired of all the yelling = 2 oothappams
Day 2 :-
1 missing idli + a highly pissed off stomach tired of all the yelling = 2 oothappams + 1 milk shake
I could see my plan not just failing but doing the opposite of what I wanted to do.
1. Diet 2. Exercise :-
I decided to do skipping exercise and some simple exercises everyday. 20 mins per day is enough someone said. Fought with amma and bought a skipping rope. She said no to that knowing after a week it will be lying in one corner of the house. I proved her wrong. It went to the corner in a day.
Got up, brushed teeth. Started Skipping 1..2..5..14..30. Stopped . My heart was beating so loud as if it was plugged directly into a “mariyamman koil” loud speaker. I thought I would get a heart attack if I continued. I was happy with the 30 count and ended my exercise there.
Day 2 :-
Simple exercise. I fixed 20 mins as my goal and started the exercise at 7:00 AM sharp. After what I felt like 30 mins I looked up at the clock, it was showing 7:04 AM. Lazy clock! Confused whether I should continue or is this enough for today, amma came to my rescue. She brought me coffee and in that smell I forgot my 20 mins of exercise everyday plan. Filled my stomach. You see many experts have told that we should not do any exercise after having tea, coffee, milk, idli, water etc. So I ended day 1 exercise there . I really felt light. The 4 mins exercise had good effect.Later I realised that it was just an illusion. The real effect of exercise was felt later in the office. Next two days I walked like a punctured tyre . Stupid Sore muscles! 😦
Day 3-9 :-
I woke up and saw my stomach. My tummy had gone in. There was no obvious thoppai. I was excited and called it a “medical miracle”. I was like -I don’t need any exercise . Yay – and all that. Little did I realize that my stomach was empty and so that missing thoppai . I think that was the first time I saw my stomach empty.
The end to my exercise plan.
People keep saying things. We should not take it to heart. It is absolootely okay to have a nice thoppai. My heart said.
Yesterday there was some fitness program in my office and I went down to check my BMI. Weight showed some nice number. Height – I am so so sure that it was wrong. How can a person of my age grow 10 cms tall in less than a year. OK I agree nothing is impossible for a super hero, but still people (Please don’t kill me) 😛
A lady was sitting there and she calculated my BMI and it showed border underweight. Obvioulsy 10 cm difference in height! I was about to tell her that she got my height wrong, but the next few words she spoke stopped me. She said, “Madam you should eat lot of nuts, almonds, dry fruits, fruits etc etc” . It was so pleasant to hear such things so I didn’t want to spoil the moment by telling my correct height and bmi. After few minutes she saw the glow in my face and smart she is, she immediatly said “But Madam no junk food and strictly no chocolates ok”. I hate her!