Posted in Thoughts of a confused child

It disturbs me..

..to know that someone doesnot like me.I cannot handle when my good/close friends are upset with me. CAN NOT. Some days back I made a mistake and my friend X was angry with me. She shouted at me, I said sorry and then for sometime we didnot talk. After a couple of hours I tried to start a conversation but the response from the other side were not normal. I understood that she was still upset so I decided to give some time. Next day again when I tried to start a conversation the same thing happened I left it at that point.

AfterΒ  3 days, we were talking about something else.Though I got prompt replies , the talk was very formal.Β  I was thinking so hard to find out how big my mistake was. It was NOT that big, really. All the 4 days the same thought was running in my mind again and again and again.I was expecting her to forgive me and was ready to ask sorry as many times required . I was thinking why it takes so much time for some people to forgive things .I was also thinking like ‘ok the mistake I did might not be big for me but for her it might have hurt her a big time’ .

In college I was surrounded with people who could very easily forgive or atleast forget things and be normal. All my close friends in college they won’t take even a day to come out the ‘angry’ phase. May be I am so tuned to it that now I cannot handle people getting angry on me.

My mind never stops thinking about it/her/him till that person gets normal and talks to me properly. My mind refuses to accept certain things like

-> We cannot expect every single person in this world to love us.

-> Not all people can forgive and forget within a couple of hours, no matter how small/big the issue is. Some people take more time. You have to be patient.

-> At any time there will be someone who may not like you. No matter what you do, they will not be pleased.

-> You will still be okay even if someone hates you.

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20 thoughts on “It disturbs me..

  1. Aha! Thats SS in a philosophical mood…its okie SS…I have realised over time that time is the best healer…if someone is not talking to you now..they will in some time..for example when RD and I fight, I decide I am never talking to this fellow ever again, I am going to be this and I am going to be that and in two hours, we are discussing the best way to make R’s milk…its just a matter of time..

    hugs to you darling..

    1. Hugs RM. You are right.Time heals everything but during THAT period my thoughts are just uncontrollable.There are so many why s and when s in my thoughts during that time. I need to be patient.

  2. It was as if I am writing this post NOW, ss. My colleague and me were pretty close till a couple of weeks ago. But then, I had to take leave for my parent’s visit and she took over my work (voluntarily). Apparently, she couldn’t figure it out or what I don’t know, but when I came back after 4 days, things started to be pretty formal. I even apologised to her for my absence but then once the glass breaks it never returns to being normal no??!!

    J (my best friend) and me are very very close. She once said that she’d never argue or take things personal with me, come what may. I once did a big big blunder with her. Yet she was the same. I felt (feel) guilty about it (even now) but she has long forgotten it. We have a lot of differences of opinion but we’ve agreed to disagree. I think that is why the friendship still remains intact!

    I’m sorry I had to take so much of your space with my suyapuraanam. Just that it triggered a lot of memories. My suggestion for you, if you ask that is, would be to just let go. Like RM says, time will heal everything. Don’t worry about it too much.

    1. Don’t be sorry at all SnS.
      The first para I totally agree – In my case too I was not sure what went wrong when and where!! 😦
      I love this J. I told you this before telling again, people like J are very rare to find. She is precious. I love love her.

      “Let it go”- I should really try that!! I have learnt it the hard way but still I find it difficult to move on.
      One time similar thing happened with other friend and I was sad for so long filled with truck load of thoughts and one fine day she came and spoke to me as if nothing had happened.Heights was she told me that she was not even angry as if it was all my imagination. It hurt me even more!!

  3. I am just like you, till someone is angry with me my mind seems to stay glued at the point, how can I set things right again and be forgiven.
    I know it hurts and is very difficult but try to be patient, your friend will forgive you soon πŸ™‚
    Hugs

  4. thats like me. I know what you feel but you have to remmeber that college friends were the ones who knew you inside out all good and bad points ..

    but you are right not everyone will love us , and to forgive is act of the BRAVE.. not everyone can forgive..

    yes all points taken and very true .. Hope you sort out this problem soon now smile and take care ..

  5. Sweetheart! stop worrying so much. you have already apologised so give the other person some time to get back to normal too. Also, if she wants to make this a bigger deal than it actually is – then you have to just move on I guess – like everyone has already said – time is the best healer… {{HUGS}} This is not a great phase to be in -i can relate to you…

  6. you are not alone ss.. most of us would have the same feelings when it comes to friends.. May be naturally we expect more from friends that too close friends.. I have been in similar situations.. When in college my mom will be the outlet for me.. I used to cry to her if I had any issue with my friends..

    as RM mentioned time is the best healer.. Assume that you guys are going to speak as usual from next week will you get all this worried time back? Just take it easy and spend your time happily ss.. I know its easy to say but think about it..

    1. ah.. its the same here Ani.. My amma is the outlet for me too.. but I don’t cry I just get angry still she understands that I have a problem!!

      Thank you so much dear!! loads of love!!

  7. hugs SS..
    give it some more time…things might return back to normal..else you’ll know it was all talk and no closeness…

    we can take responsibility for our actions but can’t make others to change their mind….let her see by herself that you are still the same…hoping you two would be close friends soon πŸ™‚

    1. Thanks AT. Hugs Hugs πŸ™‚

      we can take responsibility for our actions but can’t make others to change their mind – like it like it πŸ™‚

      I think everything is back to normal now. Thanku πŸ™‚

  8. you know you’re right! All the relationships are based on expectations..and however sad it may sound we must not expect πŸ™‚ that’s the beauty of the thing!

    When it comes to me I’m a person who can forgive but cannot forget…I can move on keeping things aside but then I can’t completely erase that from my memory,ever! But this doesn’t hinder in my moving on with that person…so there!

    Hugs baby…you’re just being human and it happens to all of us..none of us would like someone not liking us,right?

    But hey I like you πŸ˜€

    1. Hugs Hugs..

      You are so cute scribby πŸ™‚ love you πŸ™‚

      Forgiving someone is really a great thing scribby! Really! Not many can do!

      No expectations – its very very difficult na!!

  9. I am not really a person with Best friends etc… I am a creature who talks to everyone and hv very few closeeee friends till now.. (I guess dats how I am) but I have seen many friends mostly girls claiming that they r thick n thin and finally one day I hear that they hv seperated for some silliest thing/mis-understanding.. I try to talk to both of them seperately, ecnthough they speak to each other now.. still like someone said its a broken glass!!

    I would just tell u, give ur friend some space, u appologized job done, if he/she comes back good enough or else plz move on gracefully not with a Guilt (Hugs to you dear)

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