Find the truth

When we were in college, we used to take part in some activities like going to some ashram and donating old clothes and things like that. There was an ashram near our college, not very close it was actually not accessible via bus or any other public transport. You have to take an auto to reach that place. It was kinda isolated. I dont remember how we got to know about it but somehow we learnt that there is one and we all friends one day carried some clothes took an auto and reached there. That was my first ever ashram visit in life. There were so many young girls and boys, mentally challenged children and adults and the ashram was just a tiled house, very small. It could not have accomodated so many people but still their life was going on some way. There was a small desk at the entrance and a lady was sitting there. We gave her whatever we brought.

She asked us to sit outside in the garden and we all were talking to the people there. There was a small boy who was not well and when he came and sat near me I couldnot control my tears. My friends asked me to control myself and not to cry in front of them. It was really hard to watch . Later it was getting dark and we all came back to hostel. We have gone there more than once. But oneday suddenly a news broke out that there was some police raid in that ashram . It was a shock to all of us. We don’t know what happened after that.(We are still not sure if that news is true and if it is not my sincere apologies)

Last year sometime, when my mother was alone at home an old lady and a young one came to our house. The old one said that she had to do some offerings to God for her daughter to have normal delivery (something I dont rem clearly) and so she is collecting money from every house. My mother gave her some money and they left. After an year the same duo came back and this time they had 3-4 years old girl and the same old lady asked money to do some offerings to God for her grand daughter. My mother had some doubts in mind but she gave some money just to send them away as they were emotionally threatening us .It was like if you do this all good things will happen to your family and so and so. Kind of emotional blackmail.

I am writing all of these because I am confused. How to find out who is true and who is fake? We all have some good intentions while doing these things , but when you have a slightest doubt that it is not being used for the intended purpose, it hurts right?

There are so many occasions where people come and ask for old clothes in our houses saying that this will go for orphanage . If we have some , we all definitely give. They have all sort of receipt books, papers , pictures but are we sure that these things are reaching the right people. I have read in magazines that sometimes these clothes are being washed and sold for lesser amount. Again I am not sure how true is that.

No idea what triggered me to write this. I did not write this post to hurt anyone. There are so many people I know I have seen doing social work. They donot do it for timepass or for a good name or to earn good karma.They all do it with their heart and soul.  A big salute to all of them. But there should be a way to identify the truth from fake so that these good intentions don’t get wasted.

Last weekend one small kid came to our house asking for donation. We gave something and then the kid smiled and said a big thank you to me. Then he heard my mother talking inside the house. He called out loud and said “Aunty, Thank you very much” . It surely made us happy.

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12 thoughts on “Find the truth

  1. I had a similar incident a decade back.. Around 10 of us used to visit an orphanage every month and share dinner with them, then buy them stuffs like books, pencils et all.. one fine day (happened to be my birthday) morning the first news I heard was the organizer’s son had hit a small boy in the orphanage and broke his hands. I saw the little boy whom I know with bandage in the local newspaper.. my heart bleed-ed like hell.. that was one of my worst birthday ever..

    one way to identify is to take that extra measure to confirm if it is true. like asking the lady to take us to her pregnant daughter or visit their place and ask for visual proof..

    my brother did this once.. we were coming out of a temple and a man followed us and bugged for some monetary help.. he used words like “enna sir car-le ellam vareenga enakku edhavadhu kudukka kudadha?”.. But my brother said “if you are begging for hunger come lets go to the nearby hotel and I will pay for your food. I will sit and watch you eating”.. the guy moved in opposite direction and didn’t bother us again..

    1. You are right ani. but sometimes they talk in such a convincing way that we dont have any other choice but to give them what they ask.

      Kudos to your brother .”“enna sir car-le ellam vareenga enakku edhavadhu kudukka kudadha?”” – idu romba too much

  2. Gosh! I can so understand your dilemma..often we see young women with very small children (6 months to an year) begging at the signals…I would earlier give money, till I realised to my shock, that the same baby is being carried about by 4 different women on different days….its like an entire racket here in Mumbai…

    Another time, RD told a guy, come with me, I will buy you vada pav if you are hungry, the guy tells RD ‘paise dena’ RD said no, I will give you food if you are hungry..the guy just walked away! RD tells me often these guys all do drugs with the money!

    Its sad..very sad!

  3. Well we will never know .. of true or false .. I use to send some money for a charity back home every month ,, sent it for about 3 or 4 years then when i visited india after all that time I thought I should og and have look as to see what all is being done .. to my surprise there was nothing , an empty room with a board ..
    the money they were taking in the name of charity was being used to help their pockets , god know how many others they were fleecing like this ..

    Now when someone says they need money to EAT , I ask them to follow me and take them to a hotel and pay for the Food .. I dont give money because some of these people are actually better off then me …

    Recently in UK due to Euro foreigners have come and all they do is Beg for money and they have found a novel way every friday during the Muslim prayer time they go and stand in front of the mosque and as people come out of prayers , they are asked for money and as a true muslim , the people are oblidged to part with the money .. A television program was put up and they followed these beggers back to therir own country where the same people were living in 3 storey mansions , all marbled and all Huge places .. and this is what they do BEG.. not one but the whole family .. Imagine a family of 5 or 6 as they usually have 3 -4 kids Begging each day and they all make around 200 pounds a day .. thats 1000/- pounds approximately a DAY..
    Do the maths .. RICH people they are

    and The old rags and all they use -clean and sell them on ..

    Bikram’s

  4. Yes I so agree with you summerscript.I too face the same dilemma .I have come up with an alternative I buy biscuits/bread/toast etc and hand over the same to the kids from the near by slum area.So I get assured that my donations have really reached the needy!!

  5. I was supporting for a kid through a big organization but I never knew where the money went or if it really helped the kids education.Then I stopped and joined a small group which goes to these small orphanages and sponsors for food. You can go there directly and make sure the money reaches the kids. You just need to be careful when choosing these groups.

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