The Real Test

Two years back, I left office at around 7-730 PM and was standing in the bus stop in pune. Usually I take a shared auto as the bus frequency is less in that route. It was pouring cats and dogs that day and I came to know that the some bridge broke and the way to my home was flooded. So no auto dared to take that route. I didnot see a single auto or aΒ  shared auto. I was waiting for more than half an hour and no bus came in thatΒ  route.Power went off and it was so dark and cold.

At last a bus came, and it was jam packed. I felt if I miss that bus I will not get another one for next 30-40mins. As the bus slowed down, I literally started running to catch the bus. I heard a voice from behind, someone asked ‘does this bus go to xyz ?’ My full mind was on ‘not missing that bus’ and I didnot have time to turn back and answer that voice. I ran boarded the bus successfully. I folded my umbrella and tried to find a place to rest my feet.

The bus didnot move for sometime. Then I heard the same voice asking the driver if that bus will goto xyz stop.The bus driver said yes and the man boarded the bus. The bus started moving and only then I noticed that the man cannot see. I was feeling guilty and my mind went blank. My sleep was disturbed that night.

There is one thing I should mention here. The two years that I spent in pune I have seen so many good bus drivers.They treat people as people.

As I have told you several times, I always think myself as a super hero doing all kind of good things in my dreams.But I was totally the opposite on that day.

The guilt is still there.Now the real question in my mind is ‘If I had known that he can not see, what would I have done?

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12 thoughts on “The Real Test

  1. Hey summerscripts first thing plz dont feel guilty.
    You urself were in such a situation where u needed help and ur mind was preoccupied.
    You did not ignore that guy intentionally instead it was the situation that made u do dat.
    Smile and rid urself from feeling guilty πŸ™‚

    1. I totally agree with Garima πŸ˜€
      Don’t stress yourself with guilt for all you did was unintentional. Moreover the feeling of guilt is a strong indication that you will never let anything similar (an opportunity to help someone in need) happen again.
      When we learn from our mistakes and are determined to change for good, there should be peace and no guilt.

      Don’t be harsh on yourself SS and relax you were stressed and in a difficult position that’s why you failed to help him.

  2. arey…how can you feel guilty….you yourself were kinda cold, tired, and a bit scared as well…its okie SS you should not get so guilty….but yaa…even I have heard Pune bus drivers are really nice people πŸ™‚

    1. Thanks RM. I have seen some good drivers in bangalore too. A 6-7 months carrying lady used to come in my office bus and our bus driver everyday stops the bus , he waits for her till she gets a good seat ,makes sure that she is comfortable and only then the bus moves.

      These are small things but very valuable.

  3. I came read this post. Then re-read this. Then one more time. But I really don’t have an answer to your qn. I too would feel the way you do only, summerscript. Seriously!
    Let me ask you one question – Suppose, if that guy was NOT blind, you think your action was justified? Yes.. some one with a physical ailment requires more concern. Even if a ‘normal’ person asks, we should ideally help them right? This is not to make you feel more guilty, just a thought. I hope I don’t sound snobbish or offensive, I mean I am also thinking along with you, that’s all.
    I think the incident should let us become more aware of others’ needs henceforth. To me, I’ll retain the guilt just for that – To make me more conscious about others.

    1. I like your honest comment SnS. You made me ‘think’.

      In ‘normal’case, I would have felt guilty.But to be frank the level of guiltiness would have been different. In normal case I would not have felt guilty immediately.It would have taken me sometime and also I would have tried to find reasons (like dark,rainy, no bus) to console myself.

      But in this case, I very badly want others to give me reasons saying its ok.

      In short the amount of guilt is more now.

      1. ‘Enakku unga nerma romba pidichirukku!’ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€

        If it was me, I’ll retain the guilt just to keep my eyes and ears more open from now on. It serves the purpose, right! πŸ™‚

        1. Correctu.. We should take it as a lesson learnt.

          Idha thaan namma ‘santhanam’ swamigal ‘boss engira bhaskaran’ puraanathula solraar “Vaazhkaiii enbathe oru anubavam dane’

          1. :D.. i was reading the post and comments on a serious note and you cracked me with this comment esp. that “santhanam swamigal” part..

            don’t feel guilty considering the circumstances.. we and our action will not be the same in all situations.. just let it go ss..

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